Anylase the Giant Chocolate Spider

Anylase is a chocolate spider.  One might even say, a giant chocolate spider.  She spends her days trying very hard not to melt in the hot, hot sun.  

She takes ice baths.  Her swimsuit is a plastic bag.

She pays rent to her friend Gobus, the mouse.  He lets her sit in his freezer for two hours each day.  She pays him in stale jelly beans.  Don't ask how she gets the jellybeans.  You really don't want to know.

She drives to work in a motorized cooler.  You know, the one with the handle that extends really long and has wheels attached?  She found one with a motor.  I think it was in your Dad's basement.  Why did your Dad build that?  Better yet, why did your Dad give his motor-cooler-car to a chocolate spider?

Anylase works in a chemistry lab.  She tests chemicals.  She is trying to find a chemical that keeps chocolate cold at all times.  This makes a lot of sense.

One day, the air conditioning in Anylase's lab breaks down.  She doesn't notice right away.  Finally, she notices that her hairy, chocolatey legs are leaving imprints on the test tubes.  She is slowly melting onto them.  Oh no!

Anylase has a lab partner, Jexus.  He is a candy clown.  He has a higher melting temperature, so he doesn't notice the heat when Anylase does.  Anylase asks Jexus to fix the air conditioning.  She is really worried.  Jexus like-likes Anylase.  He is worried, too.

Jexus finds the air conditioning unit.  He checks the plug.  The unit is plugged into the wall.  

He checks the outlet.  Other machines work when plugged into the same outlet.  

He turns the air conditioning unit off, and then turns it back on a again.  There is no whir whir sound.  There is no cool air.  Anylase continues to melt.  She leaves small footprints of gooey chocolate on the floor behind her as she works.

Jexus reads the air conditioning manual.  It says that sometimes, the air conditioner may be fixed with smooth jazz.  Jexus plays his saxophone for the air conditioner.  The air conditioner does not work.  Anylase melts a little more.

Jexus reads the manual some more.  It says that sometimes, the air conditioner may be fixed with petting.  Jexus pets the air conditioner and makes baby-talk.  The air conditioner still does not work.  Anylase melts a little more.

Finally, Jexus reads the last instruction in the manual.  It says that sometimes, the air conditioner may be fixed with the release of repressed emotions.  Jexus lowers himself to one knee and confesses his undying love to Anylase.

The air conditioner begins to release a little bit of cool air!

Anylase tells Jexus that she also has feelings for him.

The air conditioner blows even more cool air!

Jexus calls his mother and tells her that he no longer wishes to receive a soccer ball every Christmas, that he really prefers art books.  

The air conditioner goes full blast!

Anylase cools off completely.  Unfortunately, she is still a little melted.  Jexus drives her in the cooler to the hospital, where they fix her up nice.  Then, they move to Alaska and get married and live happily ever after.

The End.